A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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