I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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