Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
soo... how was my night?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
