Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
