plz talk dirty to me
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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