he thought i was a dude.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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