Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize