Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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