You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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