from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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