Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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