i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize