How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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