he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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