can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
