soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
