I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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