I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
