dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
