VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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