i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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