u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
