i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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