Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
