I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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