Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
