I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need moral support for this bender
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
