i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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