I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
