would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
whose parrot is this?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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