Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
false alarm, still single
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
