You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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