I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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