he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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