News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
