what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
