he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Damn victory sex feels great
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
