so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
