Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
