READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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