um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
