yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
