My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize