okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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