we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
