Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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