sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize