in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
