It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
