I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
