After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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