Whod you bang
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
