That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
a search helicopter?!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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