I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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