just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
