Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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