he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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