I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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