so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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