Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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