I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My first STD was from a foam party
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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