I am spending my child support on dildos
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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