i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
