the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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