i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
