Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm both gender and math confused
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
